With Captain America: Civil War taking the box office by storm since it dropped last week, it was only a matter of time before some science nerd (hello there) got a hold of it and scienced the sh*t out of it - because if I can't enjoy a film without intrusive "that's not how density works though" thoughts, then I don't see why you should either.
Although the exploits of Captain America and the gang seem to defy a lot of the laws of physics and logic, there is actually a remarkable amount in there that we can extract some real world parallels from (and persist in our hope that we will one day own an Iron Man suit).
Who would have thought, for example, that the good captain's miraculous shield could well have some proper, grown up physics behind it? Or that Vision could just be using some quirks of quantum physics to sneak up on unsuspecting teenage girls?
That said, there are obviously a few things that don't match up, which we will also be gleefully picking apart in the name of science.
So which parts of the Cap's crew stand up to scrutiny, and which are still down to good old fashioned sci-fi tomfoolery.
8. Captain America
The Cap's origin story is pretty classic. The scrawny underdog, given a vaguely sciencey "supersoldier serum", blasted with "vita-rays" and transformed into a hot slice of hunk with the strength of an ox and the charm of a puppy in a bowtie.
As far fetched as it all sounds, there could well be a real-world equivalent one day thanks to the ever developing field of genome-editing. We haven't quite managed to create a magic serum just yet, but scientists do think that they might have identified certain genes that control things like muscle growth and oxygen blood load (affecting your stamina).
By flipping the switch on these genes, we might someday be able to develop enhanced humans. What's more, they are sometimes activated using a blast of UV light - close enough to vita-rays, don't you think?
7. Captain America's Shield
As well as his stunning physical abilities, part of the Cap's whole thang is his seemingly impossible shield.
This remarkable disk of red, white and blue can seemingly absorb enormous impacts without shattering or transferring any energy to the captain himself. It can also ricochet almost endlessly before returning to its owner. As our shiny new Spiderman pointed out, that thing doesn't seem to obey any of the laws of physics.
There are, however, a couple of theories floating around out there that attempt to rationalise the amazing shield.
The first law of thermodynamics states that energy cannot be created or destroyed, only transferred. In order for the good captain's shield to prevent him from being thrown bodily across the street whenever he blocks an enemy's blow, the shield must be somehow converting the energy.
Made from the fictional substance vibranium, it could be that the shield acts as a capacitor. It could have a molecular structure that is able to not only absorb the kinetic energy from and impact, but store it and release it again to enable it to fly about with such speed and force.
6. Ant-Man
Ant-Man's ability to still kick seven shades of you-know-what out of his enemies whilst he is less than and inch tall has been explained away by the fact that he is able to maintain his original mass.
This, perhaps inadvertently, also solves another physics problem with rapid size changing. Generally speaking, if something were to suddenly shrink down to a 1000th of their original size, the amount of energy this would release would be enough to blow a not-insignificant hole in most of Manhattan.
Unfortunately, avoiding this creates its own problems. For starters, his density would sky-rocket to somewhere in the region of a white dwarf star and cause him to sink straight through the Earth every time he miniaturised.
We have the same problem at the other end of the spectrum when he swells himself to the size of a tower block. Assuming the same rules apply, this would mean that his density would plummet, making him more likely to blow away at the tiniest breeze than smush his opponents into the ground. Getting a slap from Big-Ant-Man would feel more like jumping to the side of a bouncy castle than a deadly swipe.
5. Spider-Man
Given what we know about genome editing, the idea of somebody being gifted with Spidey senses after being bitten by a radioactive spider is not quite as mad as it once seemed (although perhaps still not exactly "possible").
It could be that the altered genetic material in the spider's venom penetrated Peter Parker's cells and begin to mutate his DNA to making him stronger, faster and more agile (although the wall-climbing thing is still a mystery).
It is, however, the spider silk that is spot on for accuracy.
Spider silk is a truly remarkable substance. It has the same tensile strength of steel, but with a fraction of the density. Scaled up to a rope-like thickness, the silk would be more than capable of supporting the weight of a human as they go swinging through the city, as well as making near inescapable bonds for any bad guys.
Although shooting it from the wrist is a bit fanciful, scientists have actually managed to genetically engineer goats to produce spider silk in their milk.
That said, we'd hate to imagine where a teenage boy might produce it from.
4. Vision
Fulfilling the role of Overly Literal Character enjoyed by the likes of Data and satirised by Drax, Vision is one of those massively overpowered characters that is just too noble to use his abilities to grind you into the floor.
Vision's powers mainly seem to extend from his ability to manipulate matter on an atomic level, which could go some way to explaining one of his creepier quirks - the whole walking through walls thing.
Normal objects at a normal scale cannot usually walk through walls (don't take my word for it, try it now. You have to get a lot of speed up), but there are certain situations in which atoms can travel through seemingly solid barriers. We're in the weird world of quantum physics.
Quantum tunneling is a quantum-mechanical effect in which it is possible for a subatomic particle to actually move from one side of an energy barrier to another without having to actually pass through it. This is because, at the quantum level, a particle's position is described in terms of probability. Granted, there is a very small probability that the particle will tunnel through the barrier, but as that probability is more than zero, there is still a possibility.
It would be beyond the realms of possibility (well, it would, but you know what I mean) that Vision can somehow control these probabilities. This would explain how he is able to fly, disappear and reappear and, yes, walk through walls - he is actually just a big old quantum object.
3. Falcon
So Iron Man's suit generates a lot of heat using jet propulsion. Falcon appears to have partially overcome this by aiding his flight with bird-like wings.
As far as sci-fi goes, Falcon's flight is pretty on the mark. Although the wings would not enable him to fly like a bird without the flapping motions, they would perhaps slow his descent enough to make the jet packs viable. The setup is not that dissimilar to these skydivers who, whilst appearing to fly, are more likely to be in free fall that is slight arrested by their larger glider wings and propelled forwards by their jets.
The development of an ornithopter - a flying machine that moves like the wings of a bird - has been a dream of mankind ever since the time of the ancient Greeks but, despite having since invented multiple different methods of flight, we have still been largely unable to crack it.
Students at the University of Toronto had a go at one back in 2010. The effect was inexplicably slightly creepy and managed a flight time of 19.3 seconds.
Probably best to stick to the jets for now.
2. Iron Man
Iron Man's suit is definitely cool, but it would also be incredibly hot.
Attaching powerful jet thrusters to his extremities should turn Tony Stark into a boil-in-the-bag billionaire in a matter of minutes. This obviously doesn't happen, so the suit is obviously dealing with this heat somehow. It would make the most sense to convert it into electricity and using it to power the on-board computer systems, much like a car uses the heat from its brakes to charge the battery.
This, however is only half the battle, as the forces exerted on Tony during an epic battle between good and evil should by all rights reduce him to scrambled eggs.
The suit can travel at incredible speeds and a sudden change in direction, like the ones Iron Man so often performs, would leave him with a severe concussion at the very least. Just like in a real-life car crash or boxing match, Tony's brain would slosh around inside his skull like a blancmange and suffer some pretty extensive damage.
One possible solution is that the suit contains a special dampening layer just like the fluid that surrounds the brain, in order to take the sting out of the sudden twists and turns.
1. The Winter Soldier
As well as being a stone cold dreamboat, Bucky is also flying the flag for amputees everywhere.
Prosthetic limbs have come a long way since that classic wooden stump favoured by pirates, and our real-world equivalents are getting ever closer to the bionic super-limb sported by the Winter Soldier.
Bucky seems to share a lot of characteristics with Captain America, so we could assume that his physical capabilities are down to similar gene-editing techniques, and his arm seems to have a similar ability to absorbs and deploy energy on demand. The Cap's shield is supposed to contain all of the vibranium in existence, but could it be possible that those folks over at Hydra managed to get their hands on some for Bucky's prosthesis?
As far as control goes, we have now managed to develop prosthetic limbs that are controlled using nothing but brain power, with motor skills fine enough to drink a beer and play 'rock, paper, scissors' (someone at DARPA has their priorities in order).
The technology works both ways as well, as scientists have managed to hijack the bodies over other using neural implants, even allowing a monkey to control the body of another using just its mind. Perhaps the arm itself has a role to play in Bucky's brainwashing? Just a thought.
